Thursday, May 7, 2009

For My Mother

My mother didn't want me, she already had a daughter. Her son died when
he was young and mothering was not in her genes. She came from a lifestyle
where the hired help raised your children, that is how she was raised. I had
a nanny, I called her nana (her real name was Mary and she married my
dad's chauffer). I do not know how long nana was with me, I told her once
that my mom didn't love me. She said that was ok because she loved me.
After my dad died, my mother went on to run his business for a few short
years. I was placed in the home of one of my dad's friends (they were forced to take me). What I did not know was my mother was fighting to bring me
home. Her last fight came when she showed up one day at my junior high, she was not alone, Russell Thayer Tutt came also. In the principals office (Mr. Place, the principal was also there) she begged Tutt to let her take me home, he refused he said she could have his children but it would come with a price. She pleaded for me, crying that she wanted her own child. Tutt told her that he was more powerful
then the president of the united states and for her to take one more look at me because she
would never see me again. My mother cringed.
He escorted my mother out of the office and it was the last time I saw her. Her parting words were "I love you, rosebud."
This is part of a song I wrote for my mother:
She wasn't the virgin Mary or Esther the famous queen
but she was the greatest woman I knew, she was mom
sweet mom to me
You won't find a book written about her or a painting that
holds her face, it's in my heart this woman is famous
It's in my heart she has a place.
Happy Mother's Day, Momma


Lydia said...

How tragic for you, and for her, that you were parted forever that way. I am not clear on who this Tutt guy was, but his influence must have been extremely strong to send her out of your life that way. The photo of your mother is quite beautiful, a lovely portrait. I can only imagine what it must mean to you and especially around Mother's Day.

Beth Niquette said...

What a poignant story. Ah, my heart aches for you. To imagine such a thing is unthinkable, yet such tragic things do happen. ((hugs))

I love the name Rosebud. My first baby (in heaven) was called Rosy Rosebud.

God bless and keep you, may His face shine upon you, and may He bring peace and joy to your soul this Mother's Day Weekend.

Looking to the Stars said...

Lydia, thank you. Tutt took over all of my dad's money and businesses. He worked in the hotel and his father was my dad's investment lawyer.

Beth, thank you. I love the name Rosy Rosebud! thanks for the hugs, right back at you kiddo :)