Tuesday, November 17, 2009


These two pictures were taken the same day and they both are me. The PPLD has the costume one as Pauline but that's not true.
I remember the day it was taken and where. Louise was the woman taking care of me, she drove me up to my parents house in the Broadmoor area. Inside the house there were a lot of people, they were nuns and priests (I did not know that then).
My mother greeted us and immediately started to put this costume over my dress, telling me a picture was going to be taken. Louise left us alone and I begged my mother to let me come home. She told me this was no longer our home and then asked if I wasn't happy with Frank and Louise. Before I could answer, Louise walked up, I stopped talking. I knew that if I said anything Louise would make me pay. My mother seemed to understand and said "I see. I'll try to get you back." That never happened.
So, it was time to take the picture. A man with a long red and black robe with a funny red hat walked up, "So, this is her." My mother bowed her head, "Yes, Father," she replied. Well, you know me, I had to pipe up and say "this is your father!" My mother told me to hush. "You are not raising her in the faith," he asked. My mother kept her head bowed and kept silent. "It's just as well that she isn't," he said. My mother let out a sigh like air coming out of a balloon.
He took the picture, then walked up to me "I hope I never see you again," he told me. Turning to my mother he said, "I'm going back to Rome tonight, this just might save your life." (I did not know what he was talking about then, I do now, but I cannot share that with you now).
My mother took off the costume but let me keep the bracelets. So, I left my mother and the home I once had. Louise made another stop, the house they used to live in. She made me stand in the front yard, pulled my hair back and used spit to flaten my bangs (ick),telling me to put my hands behind my back and she took the picture above. The sun was glaring in my eyes and I had a hard time looking up because of it.
So, there you have it. A picture of me and me :)


Lydia said...

Poor little kid. You don't look happy in either picture. Even without knowing this bit of strange background I think I would be able to tell that you were under a lot of strain (especially in the lower photo).
I hope that sharing these stories eases some of the pain for you.

Have a peaceful day.

Looking to the Stars said...

Lydia, thank you. No, I wasn't very happy and yes the strain was unbelieveable. To this day I do not know how I lived thru it.

You read my mind so well, it does ease the pain. It also gives me release, having it on these pages instead of inside my mind and heart grants me great liberty and gives me rest.

Thank you for your friendship!