Discovery

pictures of Shirley Temple courtesy of Shirley Temple website

In January, I shared photos that I had gotten from the Denver Post of my dad. The first photo you see is one those photos. I shared that I thought maybe the little girl was my sister Jinx but I wasn't sure who she was.

I thought about this picture and finally last night, it came to me. I did research and sure enough, the girl who is around 12 is none other than Shirley Temple.

Shirley Temple started acting in 1932 at the age of 3, she retired from show business in 1950 at the age of 21. The picture of her in the tux was her last picture for Century 21.

I love discoveries :)

Cousin Boies Penrose

picture from my own family album.


A lot of people get confused about who is who in my family and even who we are related to. We are not related to the Penrose's in Utah that are Mormans but we are related to Stephen B.L. Penrose, long time president of Whitman College in Washington State.




Now, the above picture is my cousin Boies, he was named after his & my uncle Boies who was a senator. My cousin was the son of my uncle Charles. Uncle Charles had 2 kids that lived, Boies & Sarah. Uncle Charles had a marriage that was arranged but was a good marriage, she was very, very, very rich. Her father was an Austrian banker.





I met my cousin Boies, only once. He came to our house and had a meeting with my father. He was much older then the picture above. My father who was dying of cancer, had a favor to ask of Boies. The favor was: will you take and raise my little girl. My cousin, Boies refused!!! I was standing right there, looking at his face when he told my father that he should kill me. My cousin said a few other choice words about my mother.



My father replied that Boies would never be welcomed in our home again. Boies had a chance to help me and my father but he refused. And to this day, I curse him and his family. I do not consider any of them my relatives. They are all cruel and mean hearted people.




And that is all I have to say about my cousin Boies.

Penrose's, Chew's & Baber's

We watched the new Robin Hood & Prince of Persia movies. They both are great, I think this Robin Hood is the closest to the real truth than any other. Both movies had 2 things in common: destiny & karma. I'd like to share with you my own family's destiny & karma.



The Penrose's, Chew's & Baber's are old English families. All 3 were knights of the Crusades, all 3 were knights of the templar, all 3 lived in the Somerset/Bristol area. Penrose & Baber were physcians of King Richard & King John. The 3 families had a bond that would expand for centuries, without some of them even knowing it.


In the 1600's Penrose & Chew would leave England. Penrose to Philadelphia, Chew to Maryland. Chew would sell his manor called "Chew Manor" to Baber. The manor has kept its name to this day. The Baber family would fall into displeasure with the power that ruled England, one family was allowed to stay & keep Chew Manor while the others were sent to Virginia, New Zealand & Austrilia.


The Penrose & Chew families would unite in marriage, my grandfather & grandmother. The Baber family would go from Virginia to South Carolina then to Colorado.



In the 1950's my father being a Chew/Penrose would become friends with Frank Baber & his sister Zona. After my fathers death, it was Frank Baber that would take me as his foster daughter & raise me.



The Penrose, Chew & Baber family circle completed. I believe in destiny, tho I do not know its reason.

The Bottom Line

I was going to share more on Olsens book about my family but instead I'm just going to come out with the bottom line about it.

Someone doesn't want the truth known. You see I am a writer and one thing I know is how much it costs to put anything about a book in a newspaper, it costs money. To advertise your book in the NY Times costs $3,560.00. So, the Colorado Springs Gazette isn't that popluar but it costs money for that paper to be putting this book, chapter by chapter in the newspaper.

They are not doing it out of the kindness of their heart or to enlighten readers they are doing it because they are being paid to do it. Money and greed is the bottom line of all things. So, who would be paying this newspaper to do this, has to be the Tutt family.


A few months ago, they published a picture of Russell Thayer Tutt Sr.'s daughter and put the name of my nanny underneath it. Of course, all the paper had to do is publish a correction but if anyone wanted to do a look up on my nanny this picture would come up. Its false information which papers are famous for, Hearst was the biggest of all of them and the Colorado Springs Gazette is not far behind.


Now, why you wonder would they go to all this trouble? Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe they don't want the truth to be known. Of course, they don't want people to know that Russell Thayer Tutt Sr. was a murderer. They don't want any eyes on them, so they use other people to do their dirty work. Thats as old as the hills.


The Tutt family have been involved with the mob since the 1900's. Yes, that's the mafia. They have also done things for the United States Government, behind the scenes of course.


So, the bottom line is the Tutt Family is paying for this book to be printed in the paper. I must be rattling them with all the truth I've been spouting.


Onward and upward for the words of truth, for I will always speak them :)

Speck, the Life and Times of Spencer Penrose, breakdown of book Part 2

In Chapter 2, Olson states that the family motto is "Ubique Fidelis" in Latin this means "Everywhere Faithful". That doesn't make sense, now if it had Semper in front of it, which a lot of families used that for a motto, then it would make sense. This motto is also suppose to be what was on a cradle my family used. Since I saw no such thing then I'm not sure if this is true.



Many times, Olson calls us blue bloods and many times refers to my grandparents as cold. As I have stated before both things are untrue.


He has my ancestors right but when he comes to my grandmother's, he says that they were Roman Catholic. This is NOT true, my grandmother's line is Jewish and the Vatican in Rome knows just how Jewish we are. Our Jewish roots goes deep and we have 2 very famous Jewish ancestors.


At the end of Chapter 2 Olson talks about Charles P. Tutt. I do not know why he doesn't state that Charles P. Tutt studied and became a doctor in Vermont. Then he went to Florida, then to Penn. His father in law was a merchant and lived a few blocks away from the Penrose house. This is where his son C.L. Tutt met my family. My Uncle Spence was the only one who liked C.L., my grandfather hated his guts. He saw the true nature in him and told his sons many times to stay away from him. To bad Uncle Spence didn't listen.



Chapter 3 - On page 21 Olson goes into great detail about my grandmother's death. He made the whole thing up. The true story is my dad didn't want to go to school that day, he faked that he was sick. My grandmother had just walked up the stairs to take him some soup, on the way down the stairs she tripped and broke her neck. She died. Now, you have to understand that back then in 1881, you NEVER told anyone that an accident happened inside the house that caused a death. That was taboo. So, the story that she had pneumonia and died from that was the story that was told.

My father was the one who was with her and yes it scarred him for life. He always believed that his father blamed him for his mother's death. He believed that till the day, our doctor was called to the house to see me. Our family doctor knew my grandfather. They got into a conversation that led to my grandmother. My father confessed to our doctor, that his dad blamed him for his mother's death. The doctor said, "I guess you were to young to remember what the rumors were." My father said he didn't know of any rumors. Our doctor told him, rumors had gone around that my grandfather had killed my grandmother. My dad said that it wasn't true and it must have been terrible for his father. So, that's the truth about my grandmothers death, it was an accident. My father always felt that it never would have happened if he would've gone to school that day.



Her death left a big void in all the Penrose men and there was not a day that went by, that they did not miss her and wish she was with them. Their love for her was deep and lasted a lifetime.


On page 22, Olson states that my Uncle Boies got interested in politics at Harvard. Not true, my grandfather chose that profession for him. My Uncle Boies had a poetic nature, he would have preferred to write plays. He did a pamphlet for Mr. Barnum on elephants, that Mr. Barnum used in his circus.


On page 25, Olson says my grandfather was disappointed in Uncle Spence. That's not true, my grandfather understood my Uncle and didn't expect to much of him. It was my father that had an on going conflict with my grandfather.


On page 28, Olson says my Uncle Francis (nickname Friday), comes down with a fever. This part is true. The part that is not true, is Uncle Francis did not become an invalid. Grandfather shipped him off to England after he was better.

and that is it for this time

Greed

My family have known the Astor's for a long time, so when Brooke Astor was sick a couple of years ago, I sent a get well card to her. When she passed away, I did not find out about till a few weeks after. It was to late to send anything and with her death I felt a part of history had faded away.


Brooke Astor married into the Astor family in 1959, she had a son from her previous marriage, his name is Anthony Marshall. He is her only son and they say he was stealing from her. She was 105 years old when she passed away. Anthony is 85 years old.





I speak of this now because his trial is over, Brooke's attorney was also brought up on charges. They were found guilty but his lawyer is going to appeal. I felt very sad about this and even sadder when I read that he wasn't taking care of his mother. But, the thing I don't understand is, if she had all these friends, that the paper said she did, which include Barbara Walters and Henry Kissinger, then why didn't they say something to her son? Also, the person who brought these charges up was Anthony's son, Philip.







Now, if he was so concerned about his grandmother, then why didn't he make sure she was taken care of. Why didn't he pay for certain things she needed. Also, his dad is 85, shouldn't the son be looking out for his dad instead of taking him to court. Something's not right, things don't add up. Like Walter Cronkite said, you don't get to the truth till you hear both sides of the story.





But, I will tell you, to me, it looks like the grandson is a greedy SOB and he wants his own father out of the way. I could be wrong, I don't know the whole story but it looks fishy to me.





Anthony had legal power over his mother's estate. So, he could spend the money. I see greed and envy in the grandson but not the son. And like I said I could be wrong. If Anthony was taking such bad care of his mother, how did she live sooo long. It looks like Philip's lawyer got the jury caught up in legal issues that they didn't understand. Anthony's lawyer should have proven (and there is proof) how well he took care of his mother.


I know greed, I have been a victim of greed since I was 3 years old. Philip wants all the money, he doesn't want to wait till his dad dies. OMG, he might live to be 105 like Brooke. They also threw in the pity vote, that the will was changed to exclude certain charities. I bet she did exclude them and I bet her grandson Philip has a postion with each charity that was excluded.

I will tell you now that Anthony is getting the shaft, this never should have been taken to court. And as far as the grandson Philip, he needs to be slapped. And the question put to him, "Why didn't YOU help your grandmother if things were so bad!"


That's my beef for the week. Greed sickens the mind, soul and spirit.

Terrorism, Is It?

I have been wanting to do this post for a few days but I have had problems on my blog. So, here it is. I know you've heard that they have arrested a few people in Denver on Terrorism charges. I don't know if these people are innocent or not, what I do know is that the papers and TV have already found them guilty.

Does anyone remember McCarthy and the communist scare? His stupidity caused a lot of pain for a lot of innocent people.


Let me tell you about something you don't know, its called the Cointelpro. After McCarthy was winding down, the FBI (under Hoover, who wanted dirty little secrets on everyone because he had one of his own) started the Cointelpro. It started in 1956 and ran till 1971. This is what it was: a dirty tricks program, planting forged documents to create suspicion that a key person was an FBI informant, spreading rumors thru anonymous letters, leaking false information to the press, calling for IRS audits, saying the person had communist ties and the like. You get the picture, it was a false information, lie thru your teeth program.


How do I know this because I was 3 (got that three) years old and I, my father and my half sister were accused of being communists. This is the story:

My sister was an entertainer, she lived and worked in Florida. What's by Florida? Cuba. My sister had a lot of friends, she knew a lot of people. The FBI used the dirty tricks program using my sister.

So, one day my father took me to the library/study in our house. As we walked to the room he told me that a man would be asking questions and I was to answer him with all honesty, I also was going to be left alone with this man and I did not need to be afraid. We walked in, the man looked like Walter Cronkite (but a lot of people did in that day). My father left and the man smiled. A movie camera was set up and I asked about it. He explained that he was filming our conversation. He asked me a lot of questions about my family, I told him about the grandfather who was a captain on a ship and came to America.

He asked me if I had been on a ship, no, I replied, ships have accidents like the one my Uncle Francis had been on (the Titianc). I don't know how long I was there but I liked the guy. He was a nice person.

Then the door opened and my sister came in with my dad. My face lit up like a Christmas tree, I loved my sister. She went to the man and shook his hand as my dad came to me. "Don't say a word to her," he told me sternly. He took me by the hand and led me out of the room. We sat by the closed door and waited for my sister. I asked my dad what this was all about. He said that our loyalty to America was being questioned and that they think we were communists. (of course he had to explain this to me).

My reply, "we will just have to show them that we are the best loyal americans."
"that's my girl," my father said. Then he hugged me.

My sister came out, she asked my father the same thing, he answered her the same. She was astounded that they thought that. My father whispered something to her. "NO," she shouted, "I never did." My father said he believed her and told her someone was out to get us, she was to be very careful. Also, me and him would not be able to see her for awhile. This one really hurt me because I was going to go live with my sister and now that would not happen.

They used the dirty tricks program on my father, after my father's murder I would visit Dick Cheney's house in Wyoming where Dick would say, "they are going to find out that it is not good to be loyal to the Penrose's."

My father, sister and I were and are loyal americans. There was not one shred of evidence against us. The FBI still has the film of us answering questions. My father was worth 9 billion dollars when he died. That money was split up between the CIA, FBI, the Tutt family, military and the mob. My sisters and I never got a penny.

So, when I see someone being accused of being unamerican or a terrorist, I have my doubts. Maybe, they haven't retired the dirty tricks program after all.

Oh, a note of interest: One of my dad's best friends was Charlie Chaplin, remember what they did to him.

His Last Wish

When I worked at my dad's hotel, my boss came to me. She asked if I would have lunch with a young man who had cancer, the doctors had given him 2 months to live. The chemo had not helped him and hospice was the next step. I told her yes.



I walked into the hotel's cafeteria with my boss, she went to the table where a man sat. He could've been my age or older or younger, it was hard to tell. The chemo had taken his hair, I told him he looked like a young Yul Brunner, he laughed and the ice was broken.



As my boss left us alone, he thanked me for coming. My pleasure, I replied. He had a story to tell me, he talked as I ate.



His parents, now deceased, had worked at the Penrose's Turkey Creek Ranch when he was a little boy. One day, he was playing in the sand outside the big house. The Penrose's daughter was playing in the sand also, not far from him. Her mother came out, you could tell she was not in a good mood. He had been instructed by his parents to stay away from Mrs. Penrose.

As he rose to go towards his own home, she grabbed him and started choking him, talking nonsense. He was close to blacking out when the daughter came up to her mother. She knocked her mother off balance where she let go of him and fell hitting her head.

Because of the servants screaming, his parents had been running up to rescue him. They had seen the whole thing. They took him home, the doctor was called to see Mrs. Penrose.

Mr. Penrose arrived later on that night, his wife lied to him and he marched up to his daughter's room. Her screams as she was being punished went on for hours. The little boy felt bad for her because she hadn't done anything wrong, in fact she had saved his life. The next day his parents told Mr. Penrose the truth about the incident.

It was the last time he saw the little girl, when Mr. Penrose died, he and his parents tried to see his little girl. The Tutts told them she had died.

So, now here he was and his last wish was being granted. He wanted to thank D'iana for saving his life. He said, "Thank you for saving me, I have had a good life." and got up and left.

I sat at that little table for a long time.

The Francis Boies Penrose Story

I would like to introduce you to my Uncle Francis, he was born in Philadelphia, PA in the year 1867 the 5th son of my grandparents. My Uncle had a beautiful talent, he loved to draw. When my grandparents would go on trips without the kids, their nanny would have them write letters to my grandparents. Francis' letter and envelope would have drawings on them. His nickname was Friday.

My Uncle attended Harvard, two things happened to him there. The first was a fellow student with the nickname "piggy" fell in love with him and constantly sent him letters. My grandfather's advice was to burn every letter and discourage "piggy". My grandfather had plans for his brother Boies to become President of the United States and a scandal like this could hurt him. Uncle Francis did as his father said.

The second thing that happened was Francis became very sick, they called it a brain fever(this is what we call meningitis today and a blow to the head can also cause brain fever). He had to leave Harvard in his second year and went back home to Philly, he was eighteen. My grandfather, who was a doctor, had a cure for everything. A change in climate and hard work were his remedies, so when my Uncle Francis was strong enough he was sent to England. My grandmother, who had died in 1881, had family there.

By 1912 my Uncle was 45 years old. He had married and had children, the last one was a newborn. My Uncle got a job on a ship, its name was "Titanic". There were many people on this ship who knew my family well. The only person who did not take this trip was Rockefeller, he was booked to take it but didn't. The richest men in America had a meeting on the fateful night of the Titanic, even the head of the U.S. Treasury was there. They were going to take their money out of America because the government was going to start taxing individuals. A bomb went off in that room killing every person there.

My Uncle knew of the meeting and went to check on everyone. He saw water and dead bodies.

Everyone knows the rest of what happened except what Washington was doing. The bomb was to go off at a certain time, the President had arranged a meeting with my Uncle Boies (who was head of Naval Affairs) during this time. Uncle Boies gets the message the Titanic is in trouble and the President is not going to do anything. Uncle Boies leaves Washington (the President is pissed) and gets his yacht the "Betty". He is able to save my Uncle Francis and a few others.

Fast forward to Washington, my Uncle Francis and the other surviving employees are taken away where they are questioned. My Uncle is tortured, he keeps telling them what he knows and he keeps saying all he wants to do, is go home to his family. I do not know how long they kept him, he had to sign a paper to never talk about what he knew. At one time they were going to blame my Uncle for planting the bomb then they changed their minds. Note: a messenger was sent to Mrs. Astor to make sure that she never mention the meeting.

They released my Uncle Francis, who was tired, in shock and was mentally plus physically drained. He went home to England, when he arrived he discovered his whole family had been murdered even the baby. My Uncle had a complete nervous breakdown.

My family brought him home to Philly where they put him in a mental hospital. There were parts of the Penrose family that would tell people my Uncle was adopted and he was born in New Mexico, that is not true. They did this because people thought it was bad when a member of a family had to be in a mental hospital.

My father brought my Uncle to Colorado Springs in the late 1930's, my uncle's nurse (who had been on the Titanic and rescued also) took care of him till he died in 1947. Mary Marvin stayed on with my family and my mother appointed her to help Fairbanks and Berkey with the book about my Uncle Richard. This book never mentions the Titanic or the letters my Uncle Richard wrote concerning this incident. My dad had wanted them in the book, my mother did not.

My father made my Uncle Francis' life as pleasant as he could and if you look at the picture of him you can see a gentleness about him. So, that's the story about my Uncle from my father and what happened on the Titanic.

Charles Mather MacNeill 1872 - 1923

I would like to introduce to you my father's best friend, Charles Mather

MacNeill.

The first time I saw this picture I was sitting on the hardwood floor in my

parents home, playing with my toys. My father walked up to me, he was

VERY angry, he shoved this picture in my face and said, "This is my best

friend and I want you to remember it. Don't you ever forget, study this

picture and never forget Charley was my best friend."

I took the picture and to this day it is a favorite of mine. Why did my father get so mad, you wonder. Its because the Tutt family was going around saying that C.L. was my dad's best friend. My father was going to

make sure I knew the truth and to this day I will not print the picture of

my dad and C.L.

Charles Mather MacNeill was the son of Dr. J. Edward MacNeill, he had one sister named Eloise.

They lived in Denver, Colo. but his dad was from Vermont. Charley was a go getter, he was a year younger then my father and my dad always thought of him as a brother. In fact he once said that Charley acted more like a brother then his real brothers.

Charley was a partner in everything my dad did. He was a partner in the Broadmoor and president for the Utah Copper, Chino, Alaska mines and more. The list is staggering from Africa mines to Alaska and Charley even did businesses that my dad didn't get involved in. He was the energizer bunny of his time. He and my dad tried to do the hotel business before the Broadmoor. It was in Penrose, Colo. but it failed. The hotel still stands in that city today.

Charley was rich and powerful, with that comes enemies and he had them. The biggest enemy was The Western Federation of Miners, they were the mafia of that time. They had hit men and Charley was on the list. No matter what you read, they murdered Charley. He did not die from pneumonia, my father could not help him. How they did it I will never know because my dad could not bring himself to talk about it. He would start then hang his head and no more words would come out.

Charley was married to Marion Parsons Irwin, they had a house in New York and apartments at the Antlers Hotel here in Colorado Springs. I always thought that it was strange, living at The Antlers when he was a partner of The Broadmoor. I know he had his reasons, it just makes me wonder what they were. They had no children but Charley was the guardian of a boy and girl. The children were not related to each other and I could find nothing out about them. If my father ever mentioned them then I don't remember it. Marion was in Europe when Charley died, she left for Europe in 1921 and did not come back till 1924. She remarried in 1925.

Charley was a Colonel in WWI. There are no monuments or memorials to him, in fact history has all but forgotten him. Except for a little girl, who made a promise to always remember her daddy's best friend.

So, here's to you Charley the bestest friend Spencer Penrose aka Philip Thomas Penrose ever had.

Billionaires Meeting

When I first heard that the billionaires of America had a meeting, it took me back to April 1912.
Back then the billionaires of America had a meeting on European shores, they were going to take their money elsewhere because the U.S. was planning on taxing individuals.

A lot of people were upset about taxing individuals and spoke against it including the author Laura Ingalls Wilder. Does anyone remember what happened April 1912, if you don't then you should. It was the sinking of the Titianic and believe me people, an iceberg did NOT sink it. There was a bomb on that ship, how do I know because they tried to blame my Uncle Francis for it. He was going to be the governments scapegoat but it didn't work out that way.

My Uncle didn't do it and the government knew it but they tortured my Uncle anyway. One man did not make that trip his name was Rockefeller and he was the one that my family believed planted the bomb and government officials were in on it. Because of what Rockefeller did, when my father opened his hotel (Rockefeller was one of the first guests) my father physically threw him out of the hotel. All newspapers printed that the Rockefellers left the hotel because of paint fumes. Ha, my father said it felt good to throw him out.

There was another meeting my father attended, when he came home he told my mother he was not going to do what "they" wanted. She told him he had to, she was frightened, she reminded him what they had done to my Uncle. When he told her that "they" were planning an assassination, she said she would find a way to thwart "them". Things didn't turn out like my mother wanted but my father didn't do what "they" wanted. It cost him his life but he was true to his feelings and his country. And of course in the rich and poor circles it was not good to be loyal to a Penrose because my father stood his ground. The person who carried out what my father would not was rewarded with my father's money.

So, when you see these meetings, it is not what they say they are and its not for the good of the people or the country.

Charles Leaming Tutt

Today is my birthday and as a treat to myself, I am breaking a

silence about the family that has hated the Penrose's for over 4
generations, the Tutt family. They have printed and paid people

to print untruths and half truths about

us. To the right, pic of 4 men, my
Uncle Spencer is the one wearing the
hat, C.L. Tutt is man at end with both

hands in pockets picture taken in 1894. Next pic is my dad in the 1920's, small pic is my dad, taken
around 1894

Charles Leaming Tutt, called C.L., had a father who died in the Civil War, he was a doctor who studied in Vermont and then became a doctor under my grandfather in Penn. The war broke out and my grandfather went to Sutterlee Hospital, Tutt went elsewhere. With his father dead C.L. and his mother lived with her father, who was a merchant and lived about 4 blocks away from the Penrose house. This is how he met my Uncle Spencer, who was a year older then he was. C.L. and my Uncle liked to wheel and deal, they were gamblers at heart. C.L. came to Colorado Springs around 1884, he had relatives here. He wanted my Uncle here because my Uncle was a millionaire due to his mine in AZ, which was netting one million dollars a year.

When C.L. came to Colorado Springs he got into real estate, he was not a lawyer but he ended up in a lot of court cases concerning wills and ended up with the decease's property (this runs in the family because this is what they did to me.) C.L. died in 1909, I had a person say to me that he was murdered. I joked back and said if he was murdered then it was one of his mistresses. So, I looked up his last year on earth and found out, he was in another court case concerning a will where he was going to end up with all the money. If he was murdered then it most likely had to do with that.

So, C.L. has one living son C.L. Jr. who is married to Eleanor, they move to Calif where they have 3 sons C.L. the 3rd born in 1911, William Thayer born in 1912 and Russell Thayer born in 1913. C.L. Jr comes back often to Colo Springs to see his mom, mistress and business. He is an investment lawyer and becomes my dad's lawyer. He has a daughter by his mistress born in 1912, her name is Josephine. I don't know what happened to her mother but Eleanor, C.L.'s wife, accepts Josephine into the family as her own. They change her birthdate to 1919, making her younger then she really was (this had to be hard on her, I know because they did the same thing to me but made me older and it was hard on me.)

Josephine is not the only illegitimate kid, there was Karl who was my fathers chauffeur and Susan who was my dad's secretary daughter. All the while C.L. was going to church and saying what a good man he was. Then he would say my dad was the "ladies man". Not true, I was there the day C.L. asked my dad if he would tell everyone that five year old Susan was his daughter. My dad said, "NO, I've always claimed my own and you need to claim yours. You just want everyone to think I am a S.O.B. when you are the S.O.B. (my dad used the words, not the letters). There was also another son by his second wife, all of them worked at the hotel except the eldest.

The Tutts have always used the Penrose's as their scapegoats, this is because Russell and William always wanted to be Penrose's and knew they were not. C.L. Jr was my dad's investment lawyer, do you know in 1930 my dad, who had 20 companies made only $8,000.oo while C.L. made $18,000.00. You can see how he was stealing my dad blind. My dad didn't trust the Tutt's but he trusted the Guggeinheim's. The only reason that the Tutt's were around was because of Julie, she handled some of the finances and she soon learned that trusting them was a mistake but it was too late for everyone.

Russell Thayer Tutt is the man that murdered my father, he came into our house and shot my dad twice then turned the gun on me. A friend of my father's took the bullet for me, he lived but Tutt would try again two more times and those people did not live. They stopped trying to murder me because they kept screwing up and they paid out money to hush people up, it was getting too expensive. So, they forced a family to take me and keep me out of sight.

During that time the Tutts spread gossip that I murdered my father, then it was I was retarded, the next lie was I was a lesbian, the next lie was that I liked children. The lies were a screen to make people hate me so no one would talk to me and find out the truth. Friends were hand picked and paid, so they were not really friends. All the while Russell stole and stole.

The Tutts are a lot of things and one thing they are not is honest. They are best friends with Bush Jr., they ran in the same crowd as Cheney (Cheney didn't like them), they let Hoover bug the hotel. Every man who ran for the white house and stayed at the hotel became President. In the 1960's when the Denver police department was cleaned out because of ties to the mafia a lot of money was spent to keep the Tutt name out of the connection with the criminals. I would not be surprised if, on his death bed, Russell Tutt said he didn't kill my father. His friend Jack Ruby made a death bed confession too and it was a lie. Birds of a feather flock together.

Yes, the Penrose's and Tutt's go back a long way but they are not friends. The Tutt's never do the right thing, they lie to cover up their wrong doings, they always blame someone else and they believe you can buy yourself any person on the planet. I am not the only one they have wronged, there have been many others. A legacy that started in the 1880's and still going. Gee, isn't that something to be proud of.

And don't get me wrong, they did do some good. You see their believe is for every 5 people you murder then you do a good thing for 5 people.

So, I've aired my feelings and I know I need to forgive these people for what they have done. I find it diffcult, maybe somebody has some words of wisdom for me. I keep thinking of that Rod Stewart song, Forgiveness. maybe someday I'll be able to forgive.

For My Mother

My mother didn't want me, she already had a daughter. Her son died when

he was young and mothering was not in her genes. She came from a lifestyle

where the hired help raised your children, that is how she was raised. I had

a nanny, I called her nana (her real name was Mary and she married my

dad's chauffer). I do not know how long nana was with me, I told her once

that my mom didn't love me. She said that was ok because she loved me.

After my dad died, my mother went on to run his business for a few short

years. I was placed in the home of one of my dad's friends (they were forced to take me). What I did not know was my mother was fighting to bring me

home. Her last fight came when she showed up one day at my junior high, she was not alone, Russell Thayer Tutt came also. In the principals office (Mr. Place, the principal was also there) she begged Tutt to let her take me home, he refused he said she could have his children but it would come with a price. She pleaded for me, crying that she wanted her own child. Tutt told her that he was more powerful

then the president of the united states and for her to take one more look at me because she

would never see me again. My mother cringed.

He escorted my mother out of the office and it was the last time I saw her. Her parting words were "I love you, rosebud."

This is part of a song I wrote for my mother:

She wasn't the virgin Mary or Esther the famous queen

but she was the greatest woman I knew, she was mom

sweet mom to me

You won't find a book written about her or a painting that

holds her face, it's in my heart this woman is famous

It's in my heart she has a place.

Happy Mother's Day, Momma