E.K. Gaylord

picture courtesy of Historical Society of Oklahoma

This is a picture of E.K. Gaylord, he was a fascinating man and you can read about him by googleing his name. He lived to be 101 years old, I met him when I was 3 and that is what I'm sharing about.

My father and I were in the lobby of his hotel when Mr. Gaylord came out of the elevator. He was as tall as my daddy and I liked him at first glance. Mr. Gaylord came towards us and said to my father,"I didn't know you had grandchildren." I giggled, my father replied, "This is my daughterand I wanted you to meet her." Mr. Gaylord looked a little shocked.

My father looked down at me and told me to wait, he had business to discuss with Mr. Gaylord. They walked a few feet away, talked, then shook hands. When my father came back to my side, he said to me, "This is the man I am selling the hotel to. If something happens and I am unable to do that, I want you to sell it to him. Don't fight him on anything, I have given him my word. Do you understand?" I nodded yes. "Good," my father went on, "I have also told him, that you are to be given a home here at the hotel anytime you need it." At the time I did not see the reason behind this, I would always be with my father was my thinking.

Mr. Gaylord lived to be 101, he never saw my father's words carried out. My father's hotel would be sold to his son long after he died. Mr. Gaylord was told that I had died. It's a shame he never got to be the owner, it was a dream of his my father told me.

And I will always remember the tall thin man who was so nice.

Discovery

pictures of Shirley Temple courtesy of Shirley Temple website

In January, I shared photos that I had gotten from the Denver Post of my dad. The first photo you see is one those photos. I shared that I thought maybe the little girl was my sister Jinx but I wasn't sure who she was.

I thought about this picture and finally last night, it came to me. I did research and sure enough, the girl who is around 12 is none other than Shirley Temple.

Shirley Temple started acting in 1932 at the age of 3, she retired from show business in 1950 at the age of 21. The picture of her in the tux was her last picture for Century 21.

I love discoveries :)

Naming My Blog

When I first started my blog, the name I wanted for it was "Looking To The Stars". This phrase was very important to me. My father repeatably told me to look to the stars.



But, when I set my blog up, I thought they were asking for the name you wanted for your blog, not your name. So, I typed in Looking To The Stars instead of my name and then I had to use "Looking to the Sun and Stars" as my blog title.



Of course a smart person would know that a new blogger could make a mistake like that. But, someone who is stupid or mean would think otherwise.



And yes, I have two (read it, people) two names. My father had two names, my mother had two names. A rose by any other name, smells just as sweet. For those who do not understand this saying, it means that no matter what tag is put on something it is still the same thing. The only reason I have two names is that Russell Thayer Tutt Sr paid to have my name changed. Read it people, PAID.


So, this is the reason my name comes up as Looking to the stars, no mystery, just an honest mistake.

Colorado School for the Deaf and Blind

Picture courtesy of PPLD- Colorado School for the Deaf and Blind - 1900's


I have always had a love for this school, it was built in 1874, William Jackson Palmer (founder of Colorado Springs) donated over 300 arces to this school. It still stands and operates today though most of the land has been sold. I had the rare chance to spend a few days there. This is my story.

One Christmas morning, in the late 1950's, I was playing with my presents (a tea set was among them). My father was sitting in his favorite chair watching me.. I looked up and my dad's head slumped to the side, I walked up and gently touched him and told him to wake up, he didn't. My mother and cook (who was my favorite) came in and I told them daddy was sleeping. They called the doctor, who still made house calls


My father had a heart attack, he recovered but the doctor thought it would be better if my parents moved to a better climate. My father loved Colorado Springs, this runs in the Penrose blood-we find a city and its like a comfortable old shoe. For my Uncle Boies it was Philly, Uncle Richard it was New York, for Uncle Francis it was Ireland, for my dad it was Colorado Springs.


So, plans were made, my mother started letting the staff go. She would take them into the kitchen and I would never see them again. I thought that my mother was making them disappear and if I went into that kitchen, she would make me disappear. One day, she asked me to go into the kitchen to say good by to cook. I ignored her and I kept on ignoring her.


She thought something was wrong with me, the doctor was called in. He looked at my ears and noticed my ear canals were much smaller then normal. He thought I might be going deaf, he suggested that my parents take me to the Colorado School for the Deaf and Blind. They had more experiance then he and they could help me.


So, a little bag was packed with my new tea set and my dad took my to the school. My room was very bleak but I had a room mate. She was about 8 and her job was to find out if I could hear or not and how much. I had a great time at this school, there were kids my age and we played. It was so much fun and one night I confessed to my roomie why I had been ignoring my mother.


She went to the heads of the school and reported to them, my father came and they told him. He laughed and took me home. When he told my mother, she was pissed. She only got madder when my dad said we were not going to leave Colorado Springs. My father explained to me about the disappearing staff.


So, the staff had to be hired back, some came, some didn't. Cook did and I was very happy. I missed my friends at the Deaf School, so I asked my father if I could go visit my roomie. He came up with a plan to have my roomie come live with us but when he went to the school, he was told she had died. It bummed me out and my dad said it wasn't a good idea for me to ever go back there and I never have.


My mother made me pay for a long time but it was still the best few days I had and I still love that school and the people in it.

Me

These two pictures were taken the same day and they both are me. The PPLD has the costume one as Pauline but that's not true.

I remember the day it was taken and where. Louise was the woman taking care of me, she drove me up to my parents house in the Broadmoor area. Inside the house there were a lot of people, they were nuns and priests (I did not know that then).

My mother greeted us and immediately started to put this costume over my dress, telling me a picture was going to be taken. Louise left us alone and I begged my mother to let me come home. She told me this was no longer our home and then asked if I wasn't happy with Frank and Louise. Before I could answer, Louise walked up, I stopped talking. I knew that if I said anything Louise would make me pay. My mother seemed to understand and said "I see. I'll try to get you back." That never happened.

So, it was time to take the picture. A man with a long red and black robe with a funny red hat walked up, "So, this is her." My mother bowed her head, "Yes, Father," she replied. Well, you know me, I had to pipe up and say "this is your father!" My mother told me to hush. "You are not raising her in the faith," he asked. My mother kept her head bowed and kept silent. "It's just as well that she isn't," he said. My mother let out a sigh like air coming out of a balloon.

He took the picture, then walked up to me "I hope I never see you again," he told me. Turning to my mother he said, "I'm going back to Rome tonight, this just might save your life." (I did not know what he was talking about then, I do now, but I cannot share that with you now).

My mother took off the costume but let me keep the bracelets. So, I left my mother and the home I once had. Louise made another stop, the house they used to live in. She made me stand in the front yard, pulled my hair back and used spit to flaten my bangs (ick),telling me to put my hands behind my back and she took the picture above. The sun was glaring in my eyes and I had a hard time looking up because of it.

So, there you have it. A picture of me and me :)

My Dream

Picture courtesy of icindy (independent newspaper)





Okay, this is why this post was done. Darlene from Darlene's Hodgepodge posted she had a dream and I posted if she would tell me hers, I would tell her mine. She did and now here's mine.

Above is the main street of Colorado Springs, in the good old days looking at the mountains. In my dream I was standing in the middle of the street seeing what you see in the picture.

Coming towards me is my grandfather Penrose, only he is huge towering over the buildings. He is dressed in a white glowing robe
with a white glowing cowboy hat. He looks at me and tells me everything is going to be okay. I start walking in to the town and a river of blood stops me. The river turns into a red carpet and my grandfather laughs and says "I told you everything would be okay".


So, that's my dream.

Where An Address Leads

picture courtesy of PPLD

This is a picture of my dad, Merton and Ruth Bogart, it says they are on the SS Empress of Canada. Of course I always check these things out, mainly because at PPLD they said Merton was my dad's secretary. Merton was C.L. Tutt's secretary, so that was one strike against this pic.

So, I did my detective work. Yes, they were on the same ship. My dad in 1st class, the Bogart's were in cabin. My dad's destination was Niu, Honolulu. The Bogart's destination was 5621 Kalanianaole Highway, Honolulu. Both places are Niu, so I don't know where my folks stayed.

But, I followed the address and this is what I found:

200 years ago King Kamehamha I gave 2,400 arces to Alexander Adams, a British sea captain. The captain was head of the kings first navy. The land passed down to Adams grand daughter, Mary Lucas.

Starting in the 1950's much of the land was subdivided into residential housing going to Mary's children Charlotte Cassiday and Mary Pfluger. Her grandson, Ben Cassiday Jr was given 5699 Kalanianaole Highway in 1940, he got the property 5621 when Mary died in 1965.

I don't know if Mary lived at 5621 when my parents went to Honolulu or if she rented it or if one of her relatives lived there. But there is a tie there, Ben Cassiday Jr. is now a retired Air Force General. He was at the Air Force Academy here in the Springs from 1955-1959. He has lived at the 5621 address since 1973, he retired in 1972. His son, Ben Cassiday III has lived at the 5699 address since 1982.

And wouldn't you know, this family is in a dispute over the family money and trusts. When I read about the feud, it was like welcome to the club. But, at least in my case it wasn't my own family member's, it was my dad's lawyer that stole from me. At least these people are old enough to fight back. I was 3 and I had no one on my side.

But, I thought it a hoot that an address would connect Mary Lucas, Ben Cassiday, my parents, the Tutt's and Merton Bogart all together. And what's happening to the Cassiday's now, happened to me many years ago.

You never know where an address will lead :)

Greed

My family have known the Astor's for a long time, so when Brooke Astor was sick a couple of years ago, I sent a get well card to her. When she passed away, I did not find out about till a few weeks after. It was to late to send anything and with her death I felt a part of history had faded away.


Brooke Astor married into the Astor family in 1959, she had a son from her previous marriage, his name is Anthony Marshall. He is her only son and they say he was stealing from her. She was 105 years old when she passed away. Anthony is 85 years old.





I speak of this now because his trial is over, Brooke's attorney was also brought up on charges. They were found guilty but his lawyer is going to appeal. I felt very sad about this and even sadder when I read that he wasn't taking care of his mother. But, the thing I don't understand is, if she had all these friends, that the paper said she did, which include Barbara Walters and Henry Kissinger, then why didn't they say something to her son? Also, the person who brought these charges up was Anthony's son, Philip.







Now, if he was so concerned about his grandmother, then why didn't he make sure she was taken care of. Why didn't he pay for certain things she needed. Also, his dad is 85, shouldn't the son be looking out for his dad instead of taking him to court. Something's not right, things don't add up. Like Walter Cronkite said, you don't get to the truth till you hear both sides of the story.





But, I will tell you, to me, it looks like the grandson is a greedy SOB and he wants his own father out of the way. I could be wrong, I don't know the whole story but it looks fishy to me.





Anthony had legal power over his mother's estate. So, he could spend the money. I see greed and envy in the grandson but not the son. And like I said I could be wrong. If Anthony was taking such bad care of his mother, how did she live sooo long. It looks like Philip's lawyer got the jury caught up in legal issues that they didn't understand. Anthony's lawyer should have proven (and there is proof) how well he took care of his mother.


I know greed, I have been a victim of greed since I was 3 years old. Philip wants all the money, he doesn't want to wait till his dad dies. OMG, he might live to be 105 like Brooke. They also threw in the pity vote, that the will was changed to exclude certain charities. I bet she did exclude them and I bet her grandson Philip has a postion with each charity that was excluded.

I will tell you now that Anthony is getting the shaft, this never should have been taken to court. And as far as the grandson Philip, he needs to be slapped. And the question put to him, "Why didn't YOU help your grandmother if things were so bad!"


That's my beef for the week. Greed sickens the mind, soul and spirit.

Terrorism, Is It?

I have been wanting to do this post for a few days but I have had problems on my blog. So, here it is. I know you've heard that they have arrested a few people in Denver on Terrorism charges. I don't know if these people are innocent or not, what I do know is that the papers and TV have already found them guilty.

Does anyone remember McCarthy and the communist scare? His stupidity caused a lot of pain for a lot of innocent people.


Let me tell you about something you don't know, its called the Cointelpro. After McCarthy was winding down, the FBI (under Hoover, who wanted dirty little secrets on everyone because he had one of his own) started the Cointelpro. It started in 1956 and ran till 1971. This is what it was: a dirty tricks program, planting forged documents to create suspicion that a key person was an FBI informant, spreading rumors thru anonymous letters, leaking false information to the press, calling for IRS audits, saying the person had communist ties and the like. You get the picture, it was a false information, lie thru your teeth program.


How do I know this because I was 3 (got that three) years old and I, my father and my half sister were accused of being communists. This is the story:

My sister was an entertainer, she lived and worked in Florida. What's by Florida? Cuba. My sister had a lot of friends, she knew a lot of people. The FBI used the dirty tricks program using my sister.

So, one day my father took me to the library/study in our house. As we walked to the room he told me that a man would be asking questions and I was to answer him with all honesty, I also was going to be left alone with this man and I did not need to be afraid. We walked in, the man looked like Walter Cronkite (but a lot of people did in that day). My father left and the man smiled. A movie camera was set up and I asked about it. He explained that he was filming our conversation. He asked me a lot of questions about my family, I told him about the grandfather who was a captain on a ship and came to America.

He asked me if I had been on a ship, no, I replied, ships have accidents like the one my Uncle Francis had been on (the Titianc). I don't know how long I was there but I liked the guy. He was a nice person.

Then the door opened and my sister came in with my dad. My face lit up like a Christmas tree, I loved my sister. She went to the man and shook his hand as my dad came to me. "Don't say a word to her," he told me sternly. He took me by the hand and led me out of the room. We sat by the closed door and waited for my sister. I asked my dad what this was all about. He said that our loyalty to America was being questioned and that they think we were communists. (of course he had to explain this to me).

My reply, "we will just have to show them that we are the best loyal americans."
"that's my girl," my father said. Then he hugged me.

My sister came out, she asked my father the same thing, he answered her the same. She was astounded that they thought that. My father whispered something to her. "NO," she shouted, "I never did." My father said he believed her and told her someone was out to get us, she was to be very careful. Also, me and him would not be able to see her for awhile. This one really hurt me because I was going to go live with my sister and now that would not happen.

They used the dirty tricks program on my father, after my father's murder I would visit Dick Cheney's house in Wyoming where Dick would say, "they are going to find out that it is not good to be loyal to the Penrose's."

My father, sister and I were and are loyal americans. There was not one shred of evidence against us. The FBI still has the film of us answering questions. My father was worth 9 billion dollars when he died. That money was split up between the CIA, FBI, the Tutt family, military and the mob. My sisters and I never got a penny.

So, when I see someone being accused of being unamerican or a terrorist, I have my doubts. Maybe, they haven't retired the dirty tricks program after all.

Oh, a note of interest: One of my dad's best friends was Charlie Chaplin, remember what they did to him.

His Last Wish

When I worked at my dad's hotel, my boss came to me. She asked if I would have lunch with a young man who had cancer, the doctors had given him 2 months to live. The chemo had not helped him and hospice was the next step. I told her yes.



I walked into the hotel's cafeteria with my boss, she went to the table where a man sat. He could've been my age or older or younger, it was hard to tell. The chemo had taken his hair, I told him he looked like a young Yul Brunner, he laughed and the ice was broken.



As my boss left us alone, he thanked me for coming. My pleasure, I replied. He had a story to tell me, he talked as I ate.



His parents, now deceased, had worked at the Penrose's Turkey Creek Ranch when he was a little boy. One day, he was playing in the sand outside the big house. The Penrose's daughter was playing in the sand also, not far from him. Her mother came out, you could tell she was not in a good mood. He had been instructed by his parents to stay away from Mrs. Penrose.

As he rose to go towards his own home, she grabbed him and started choking him, talking nonsense. He was close to blacking out when the daughter came up to her mother. She knocked her mother off balance where she let go of him and fell hitting her head.

Because of the servants screaming, his parents had been running up to rescue him. They had seen the whole thing. They took him home, the doctor was called to see Mrs. Penrose.

Mr. Penrose arrived later on that night, his wife lied to him and he marched up to his daughter's room. Her screams as she was being punished went on for hours. The little boy felt bad for her because she hadn't done anything wrong, in fact she had saved his life. The next day his parents told Mr. Penrose the truth about the incident.

It was the last time he saw the little girl, when Mr. Penrose died, he and his parents tried to see his little girl. The Tutts told them she had died.

So, now here he was and his last wish was being granted. He wanted to thank D'iana for saving his life. He said, "Thank you for saving me, I have had a good life." and got up and left.

I sat at that little table for a long time.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy

When all the veils are lifted
And all the tales have been told
There's a gift at the end of the rainbow
More precious than a pot of gold

Happy Father's Day, daddy

The Francis Boies Penrose Story

I would like to introduce you to my Uncle Francis, he was born in Philadelphia, PA in the year 1867 the 5th son of my grandparents. My Uncle had a beautiful talent, he loved to draw. When my grandparents would go on trips without the kids, their nanny would have them write letters to my grandparents. Francis' letter and envelope would have drawings on them. His nickname was Friday.

My Uncle attended Harvard, two things happened to him there. The first was a fellow student with the nickname "piggy" fell in love with him and constantly sent him letters. My grandfather's advice was to burn every letter and discourage "piggy". My grandfather had plans for his brother Boies to become President of the United States and a scandal like this could hurt him. Uncle Francis did as his father said.

The second thing that happened was Francis became very sick, they called it a brain fever(this is what we call meningitis today and a blow to the head can also cause brain fever). He had to leave Harvard in his second year and went back home to Philly, he was eighteen. My grandfather, who was a doctor, had a cure for everything. A change in climate and hard work were his remedies, so when my Uncle Francis was strong enough he was sent to England. My grandmother, who had died in 1881, had family there.

By 1912 my Uncle was 45 years old. He had married and had children, the last one was a newborn. My Uncle got a job on a ship, its name was "Titanic". There were many people on this ship who knew my family well. The only person who did not take this trip was Rockefeller, he was booked to take it but didn't. The richest men in America had a meeting on the fateful night of the Titanic, even the head of the U.S. Treasury was there. They were going to take their money out of America because the government was going to start taxing individuals. A bomb went off in that room killing every person there.

My Uncle knew of the meeting and went to check on everyone. He saw water and dead bodies.

Everyone knows the rest of what happened except what Washington was doing. The bomb was to go off at a certain time, the President had arranged a meeting with my Uncle Boies (who was head of Naval Affairs) during this time. Uncle Boies gets the message the Titanic is in trouble and the President is not going to do anything. Uncle Boies leaves Washington (the President is pissed) and gets his yacht the "Betty". He is able to save my Uncle Francis and a few others.

Fast forward to Washington, my Uncle Francis and the other surviving employees are taken away where they are questioned. My Uncle is tortured, he keeps telling them what he knows and he keeps saying all he wants to do, is go home to his family. I do not know how long they kept him, he had to sign a paper to never talk about what he knew. At one time they were going to blame my Uncle for planting the bomb then they changed their minds. Note: a messenger was sent to Mrs. Astor to make sure that she never mention the meeting.

They released my Uncle Francis, who was tired, in shock and was mentally plus physically drained. He went home to England, when he arrived he discovered his whole family had been murdered even the baby. My Uncle had a complete nervous breakdown.

My family brought him home to Philly where they put him in a mental hospital. There were parts of the Penrose family that would tell people my Uncle was adopted and he was born in New Mexico, that is not true. They did this because people thought it was bad when a member of a family had to be in a mental hospital.

My father brought my Uncle to Colorado Springs in the late 1930's, my uncle's nurse (who had been on the Titanic and rescued also) took care of him till he died in 1947. Mary Marvin stayed on with my family and my mother appointed her to help Fairbanks and Berkey with the book about my Uncle Richard. This book never mentions the Titanic or the letters my Uncle Richard wrote concerning this incident. My dad had wanted them in the book, my mother did not.

My father made my Uncle Francis' life as pleasant as he could and if you look at the picture of him you can see a gentleness about him. So, that's the story about my Uncle from my father and what happened on the Titanic.

Uncle Boies

My Uncle was the most famous of all the Penrose's. He was a senator, all he really wanted to be was a mayor of his beloved Philadelphia but that was not to be.

In the 1930's a book was written about him, it was a favorite in women's
book clubs because it gave an inside look on Washington. I liked the book, in fact I have a copy of it. Another man wanted to do a book about my Uncle in the 1950's, he was a broadway producer, writer, pretty famous for the time. He came and talked to my father who was excited about the book. But, something happened and the book was never done, in fact I tried to find the guy. The last thing I found was around the late 1950's, someone tried to kill him. I think they succeeded because thats all I could discover. So much for the book.

So, I thought I would share about my Uncle, this is what he did the last year of his life in the senate. That year was 1921:
April - He wanted equality for blacks. he said that they should be equal to whites in hotels, cafes, restaurants, educational institutions and amusements. They fought him hard on this one.

June - He had gotten Mr Mellon in as head of Treasury and he was doing a bang up job, nineteen countries owed us money and Mr. Mellon had worked out a plan for them to pay it back.

My Uncle left Washington to go back to Philly, President Hoover had left my Uncle with no offices in Washington (I find this very odd because Hoover was a geologist like my Uncle Richard and a friend of my Uncle Richard's).

My Uncle helped with the election of the next Governor of Penn. (I think this was the reason he left Washington)

July - He called for disarmament of the U.S. (World War One had ended). My Uncle didn't believe in war. They fought him hard on this one too.

Sept - He installs a movie theatre in his Washington apartments

Oct - He is trying to get tax bills passed, the Soldiers Bonus bill thru and a corporation tax thru.

On Dec. 30, 1921 Uncle Richard stops by to see my Uncle in Washington. My Uncle is in perfect health, great mood and nothing is wrong. At one minute before midnite on Dec. 31st, 1921 my Uncle is dead.

The papers are full that he was sick, poor health blah, blah, blah. Lies, lies, lies. My Uncles Richard and Charles along with my father get together, they hire people to find out who killed my Uncle and who put the contract out on him.

My Uncle had many enemies, there was a senator who was going to be brought up on treason charges, my Uncle stood up for him and with him (he became his friend after that) but that is the way the Penrose's are, even if our enemies are falsely accused we will stand up and state the truth. But, there were two enemies my Uncle had, they were the Vare brothers (one of them was a senator). The Vare brothers were heavily connected with the mafia, Lucky Luciano was a close friend, the Vare boys owned one of the Philly newspapers and they were involved in what was called "the bloody fifth ward". You didn't have to go far to find out that they were the ones that put out the contract.

Why, my family didn't go to the government I'll never know. Maybe it's because of what they did to my Uncle Francis or maybe they felt there was someone higher up involved because the newspapers weren't printing the truth. No matter, they put out a contract on the hired gun and the man that hired him. For them justice was done.

My Uncle was a loving caring person, he had a great sense of humor. In his younger years he wrote plays and poetry, he even wrote a pamphlet for Barnum on elephants (Barnum passed out this pamphlet at his circus). He never married but he had a lot of mistresses. He loved America and he really loved the city of his birth, Philly. He was never involved with the mafia and he never took a bribe. He had a photogenic mind, he would read something and it stayed there, word for word. All the Penroses had this except me, I remember conversations word for word, I guess the gene said "lets skip the reading material and go for conversations instead" :)

So, there you have it my Uncle and the last year of his life. He was a very good man.

Charles Mather MacNeill 1872 - 1923

I would like to introduce to you my father's best friend, Charles Mather

MacNeill.

The first time I saw this picture I was sitting on the hardwood floor in my

parents home, playing with my toys. My father walked up to me, he was

VERY angry, he shoved this picture in my face and said, "This is my best

friend and I want you to remember it. Don't you ever forget, study this

picture and never forget Charley was my best friend."

I took the picture and to this day it is a favorite of mine. Why did my father get so mad, you wonder. Its because the Tutt family was going around saying that C.L. was my dad's best friend. My father was going to

make sure I knew the truth and to this day I will not print the picture of

my dad and C.L.

Charles Mather MacNeill was the son of Dr. J. Edward MacNeill, he had one sister named Eloise.

They lived in Denver, Colo. but his dad was from Vermont. Charley was a go getter, he was a year younger then my father and my dad always thought of him as a brother. In fact he once said that Charley acted more like a brother then his real brothers.

Charley was a partner in everything my dad did. He was a partner in the Broadmoor and president for the Utah Copper, Chino, Alaska mines and more. The list is staggering from Africa mines to Alaska and Charley even did businesses that my dad didn't get involved in. He was the energizer bunny of his time. He and my dad tried to do the hotel business before the Broadmoor. It was in Penrose, Colo. but it failed. The hotel still stands in that city today.

Charley was rich and powerful, with that comes enemies and he had them. The biggest enemy was The Western Federation of Miners, they were the mafia of that time. They had hit men and Charley was on the list. No matter what you read, they murdered Charley. He did not die from pneumonia, my father could not help him. How they did it I will never know because my dad could not bring himself to talk about it. He would start then hang his head and no more words would come out.

Charley was married to Marion Parsons Irwin, they had a house in New York and apartments at the Antlers Hotel here in Colorado Springs. I always thought that it was strange, living at The Antlers when he was a partner of The Broadmoor. I know he had his reasons, it just makes me wonder what they were. They had no children but Charley was the guardian of a boy and girl. The children were not related to each other and I could find nothing out about them. If my father ever mentioned them then I don't remember it. Marion was in Europe when Charley died, she left for Europe in 1921 and did not come back till 1924. She remarried in 1925.

Charley was a Colonel in WWI. There are no monuments or memorials to him, in fact history has all but forgotten him. Except for a little girl, who made a promise to always remember her daddy's best friend.

So, here's to you Charley the bestest friend Spencer Penrose aka Philip Thomas Penrose ever had.

Inside This Author's Mind

This is an old oil painting picture of me, I was in my early thirties.
Taking a quick break from my manuscript. had to do some research on
my dad's old friend Charles MacNeill, it took awhile and mentally wore
me out because it was very hard to find out about him. I'll share about him in another post.

Have a few new ideas for a fiction book, I love writing fiction because it
comes out of my head and I don't have to research that much. I got an email from my publisher. They are doing a new thing where you make a
video about your book and they put it on YouTube. Not my cup of tea.

I was thinking earlier, i am a creative person and I love writing because
I am not in the public eye. I don't do book signings and I don't write to be in the top ten. I write because I want to share my stories, if one person enjoys what I have written then I am happy and my goal is complete.

I am a simple person that enjoys what she has been given. In my earlier days I tried runway modeling (what a bust that was), was in 3 differant singing groups and tried acting. None of it was done to become famous, I just had a creative drive in me that wanted to try and find something I felt comfortable with. I found it in writing, for me its like walking around in my favorite pair of shoes, very comfortable.

So, those are my thoughts today, hope everyone is having a good week. I sure have enjoyed reading your posts.

Charles Leaming Tutt

Today is my birthday and as a treat to myself, I am breaking a

silence about the family that has hated the Penrose's for over 4
generations, the Tutt family. They have printed and paid people

to print untruths and half truths about

us. To the right, pic of 4 men, my
Uncle Spencer is the one wearing the
hat, C.L. Tutt is man at end with both

hands in pockets picture taken in 1894. Next pic is my dad in the 1920's, small pic is my dad, taken
around 1894

Charles Leaming Tutt, called C.L., had a father who died in the Civil War, he was a doctor who studied in Vermont and then became a doctor under my grandfather in Penn. The war broke out and my grandfather went to Sutterlee Hospital, Tutt went elsewhere. With his father dead C.L. and his mother lived with her father, who was a merchant and lived about 4 blocks away from the Penrose house. This is how he met my Uncle Spencer, who was a year older then he was. C.L. and my Uncle liked to wheel and deal, they were gamblers at heart. C.L. came to Colorado Springs around 1884, he had relatives here. He wanted my Uncle here because my Uncle was a millionaire due to his mine in AZ, which was netting one million dollars a year.

When C.L. came to Colorado Springs he got into real estate, he was not a lawyer but he ended up in a lot of court cases concerning wills and ended up with the decease's property (this runs in the family because this is what they did to me.) C.L. died in 1909, I had a person say to me that he was murdered. I joked back and said if he was murdered then it was one of his mistresses. So, I looked up his last year on earth and found out, he was in another court case concerning a will where he was going to end up with all the money. If he was murdered then it most likely had to do with that.

So, C.L. has one living son C.L. Jr. who is married to Eleanor, they move to Calif where they have 3 sons C.L. the 3rd born in 1911, William Thayer born in 1912 and Russell Thayer born in 1913. C.L. Jr comes back often to Colo Springs to see his mom, mistress and business. He is an investment lawyer and becomes my dad's lawyer. He has a daughter by his mistress born in 1912, her name is Josephine. I don't know what happened to her mother but Eleanor, C.L.'s wife, accepts Josephine into the family as her own. They change her birthdate to 1919, making her younger then she really was (this had to be hard on her, I know because they did the same thing to me but made me older and it was hard on me.)

Josephine is not the only illegitimate kid, there was Karl who was my fathers chauffeur and Susan who was my dad's secretary daughter. All the while C.L. was going to church and saying what a good man he was. Then he would say my dad was the "ladies man". Not true, I was there the day C.L. asked my dad if he would tell everyone that five year old Susan was his daughter. My dad said, "NO, I've always claimed my own and you need to claim yours. You just want everyone to think I am a S.O.B. when you are the S.O.B. (my dad used the words, not the letters). There was also another son by his second wife, all of them worked at the hotel except the eldest.

The Tutts have always used the Penrose's as their scapegoats, this is because Russell and William always wanted to be Penrose's and knew they were not. C.L. Jr was my dad's investment lawyer, do you know in 1930 my dad, who had 20 companies made only $8,000.oo while C.L. made $18,000.00. You can see how he was stealing my dad blind. My dad didn't trust the Tutt's but he trusted the Guggeinheim's. The only reason that the Tutt's were around was because of Julie, she handled some of the finances and she soon learned that trusting them was a mistake but it was too late for everyone.

Russell Thayer Tutt is the man that murdered my father, he came into our house and shot my dad twice then turned the gun on me. A friend of my father's took the bullet for me, he lived but Tutt would try again two more times and those people did not live. They stopped trying to murder me because they kept screwing up and they paid out money to hush people up, it was getting too expensive. So, they forced a family to take me and keep me out of sight.

During that time the Tutts spread gossip that I murdered my father, then it was I was retarded, the next lie was I was a lesbian, the next lie was that I liked children. The lies were a screen to make people hate me so no one would talk to me and find out the truth. Friends were hand picked and paid, so they were not really friends. All the while Russell stole and stole.

The Tutts are a lot of things and one thing they are not is honest. They are best friends with Bush Jr., they ran in the same crowd as Cheney (Cheney didn't like them), they let Hoover bug the hotel. Every man who ran for the white house and stayed at the hotel became President. In the 1960's when the Denver police department was cleaned out because of ties to the mafia a lot of money was spent to keep the Tutt name out of the connection with the criminals. I would not be surprised if, on his death bed, Russell Tutt said he didn't kill my father. His friend Jack Ruby made a death bed confession too and it was a lie. Birds of a feather flock together.

Yes, the Penrose's and Tutt's go back a long way but they are not friends. The Tutt's never do the right thing, they lie to cover up their wrong doings, they always blame someone else and they believe you can buy yourself any person on the planet. I am not the only one they have wronged, there have been many others. A legacy that started in the 1880's and still going. Gee, isn't that something to be proud of.

And don't get me wrong, they did do some good. You see their believe is for every 5 people you murder then you do a good thing for 5 people.

So, I've aired my feelings and I know I need to forgive these people for what they have done. I find it diffcult, maybe somebody has some words of wisdom for me. I keep thinking of that Rod Stewart song, Forgiveness. maybe someday I'll be able to forgive.

Happy Birthday, Daddy

May 10th is my dad's birthday. My father was always a kid at heart and I related to him very well being a kid myself. One of his favorite places to go was the zoo and the

Will Roger's Shrine.

We would stand at the shrine and look out over Colorado Springs, my dad always had his binoculars and he would look towards Penrose, Colorado (a town named for him). He always loved that town, he said he always felt alive when he was there.

My father would talk to me for hours, I was like a mini tape recorder. As I look back I realize, all of my dad's closest friends were gone and I was the only one he could confide in. There was also another reason, he was dying. Cancer was eating away at my tall vibrant father and he wanted to tell me about the Penrose family and the family secrets.

Horseback riding was a love of his, Goldie was the name of one of his horses. She was a palomino and a very gentle soul. My father also loved polo, which he played very well. He lived life to it's fullest even as the vultures circled. His life was fulled with problems as all lives are but he made the most of it.

Cancer did not kill my dad, he was murdered and the man who did it, got away with it. Justice is not only blind, she can be bought.

We had a motto in our family, "keep looking to the stars". I have no idea what it means but every night I look to the stars and say hello to my dad.

For My Mother

My mother didn't want me, she already had a daughter. Her son died when

he was young and mothering was not in her genes. She came from a lifestyle

where the hired help raised your children, that is how she was raised. I had

a nanny, I called her nana (her real name was Mary and she married my

dad's chauffer). I do not know how long nana was with me, I told her once

that my mom didn't love me. She said that was ok because she loved me.

After my dad died, my mother went on to run his business for a few short

years. I was placed in the home of one of my dad's friends (they were forced to take me). What I did not know was my mother was fighting to bring me

home. Her last fight came when she showed up one day at my junior high, she was not alone, Russell Thayer Tutt came also. In the principals office (Mr. Place, the principal was also there) she begged Tutt to let her take me home, he refused he said she could have his children but it would come with a price. She pleaded for me, crying that she wanted her own child. Tutt told her that he was more powerful

then the president of the united states and for her to take one more look at me because she

would never see me again. My mother cringed.

He escorted my mother out of the office and it was the last time I saw her. Her parting words were "I love you, rosebud."

This is part of a song I wrote for my mother:

She wasn't the virgin Mary or Esther the famous queen

but she was the greatest woman I knew, she was mom

sweet mom to me

You won't find a book written about her or a painting that

holds her face, it's in my heart this woman is famous

It's in my heart she has a place.

Happy Mother's Day, Momma